I really don't care for weblogging anymore...
But I just need to type the things that are bothering me the most. So... let's begin.
a) I'm really tired of school. Its not even funny how badly I want to graduate right now. Like seriously, RIGHT NOW. I'm sick of Miner picking on me in APUSH. Nurisso being a fucking Chemistry Nazi. and classes in general being a real drag on my life. I'm so unmotivated nowadays. b) Current trends at school are annoying. Everyone is turning bi. Way to make it go out of style loves. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against bi people. Its just that people at my school are becoming bi left and right for no reason. Which is semi-related to this next trend. Why does it seem like everyone around me is talking about their new boyfriend? I know its prom and all soon but still...I feel so out of the loop. Like just the other day I found out my friend had been seeing this one guy for almost a month now. And the only thing I thought was "Wtf? When did this happen?" I'm happy for her an all but, I mean...c'mon. I don't like being in the dark like that. D: c) The future is a scary thing. and I'm afraid I'm going to end up starting all over again. That everything will be a repeat from Jefferson to Mercy. Starting completely clean isn't what I want for college. I want to enjoy the experience with the friends I've grown the most with, the friends that are most dear to me. The RedLight family, Buddha&Friends, THE QUARTET. I don't want those relationships to fade like those of my middle school friends. Those Jefferson bonds are...they mean almost nothing to me now. I don't talk to any of them at all. Those kids from Jefferson I knew aren't the same people anymore. We're all way too different to be the same way again. In all seriousness, I'd be really surprised to know that they even remember who I am. And in complete honesty, I regret not making a better effort to keep in touch// I lament the loss of such great ... people. I don't want this to happen to all my Mercy friends. They are the people I want to talk with twenty years later and be like "Haha, remember when..." My Mercy kids have become part of my family, my sisters. Or in some cases, my husband, brother, and daughter. Lol. I just feel these four years would be a complete waste if I didn't stay friends with these people. d) Connected to [c]. I'm constantly thinking about what it would've been like had I stayed and attended Tracy High. I think about how much harder or how much easier classes would have been. Basically, I try to imagine life as it (should/would) have played out. Its a little hard to imagine, and I can't really grasp the idea of it. Despite the fact that I regret leaving my life in Tracy behind sometimes, I see now (after three years) that the decision really was the better of two evils. Besides, I've become the epic president of mercy's Anime Club ... X3 /bitchin and ranting.
So, I say that everyone should enjoy whatever path the chose for themselves. Enjoy it to its fullest. Regret and Lament, but remember that its what you wanted at some point. Just take life as it comes at you. This is probably one of the last times you'll see my update this. - Krista "North" S. | 
